Dictionary.com describes Grace as mercy; pardon; the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God; the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
I find that forgiving myself is a lot harder to do than to forgive others. I want to tell other people it is okay but then I tell myself how could I allow myself to do that. I extend kindness to others in their shortcomings, because we all have them, but when it comes to my own I believe I should feel embarrassed. I tell other people that we are all human and make mistakes, but then look in the mirror and all I can see are my mistakes. The way I look at myself and grace for myself is not the Gospel. Who I am is not who I have been.
When you go into the Old Testament we truly see the grace giving ability of God. Let's all be honest the Israelite's were ridiculous in how every time things got a little hard they would fall back into their same old patterns going back to sinning against God. God rescued them time and time again. If God can forgive them time and time again, then I need to stop thinking there is a limit to how many times and how much grace God will give me.
God is a God of love. He wants more for me than for me to live in my shame and regret. A while ago I was visiting a counselor to deal with a bout of depression I was having and her number one thing she continually told me was that I needed to learn to be kinder to myself. Sad say that for me this is easier said than done. I have friends that have told me they avoid complimenting me because they know I won't believe them. I see the worst in myself and feel that must be how everyone sees me. They see the monster, my mistakes, my self doubt, my weakness. There was a time in my life many years ago where someone told me how truly awful they felt I was and every time someone tells me a compliment that tape just starts to play over and over again in my head. Maybe someone of you have had someone do this to you, had someone constantly tell you cannot do things or critique you, or maybe the prison of your shame is of your own making. I challenge you, and myself for that matter, to break the tape and change the recording.
1) Dig into the scripture for yourself on who God says you are as His child.
I did this for a whole Saturday one time, it truly helped me in just changing my mindset. That pattern of self shaming is a chain and God is a chain breaker! Here are a few that I found particularly helpful to me.
I am free Romans 6:6-7
I am forgiven Ephesians 1:7
I am chosen, holy, and beloved. Colossians 3:12
I am valuable Matthew 10:31
I am unique Psalm 139:13
I am forgiven Psalm 103:12
There are so many more but I want you to go and discover them for yourself.
2) Pin up Scriptural truth for you to see.
I love to do this because it helps to keep His Word in front of me and also helps with memorization. I truly believe that when we fill our minds with God's Word it drowns out the lies of Satan. So put it everywhere! On your phone, on the mirror, in the car, at your desk, EVERYWHERE!
3) Pray about it.
Ask for God to help you in changing this behavior. Pray is powerful. We have a direct line to God that we get to use at anytime. He cares for us and desires a relationship with us. He wants to hear about your problems!
God loves you and me. He wants more for us than this pattern of shame and regret. So lean in closer to Him. Seek Him out. Search to fill your mind with His truth.
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